Phew. Made a boatload of Madonna icons last night, plus finished up some brush sets I was working on (and uploaded them, too!).
It must be so boring for my flist that everytime I talk about my OCD, it's always to say "I feel yucky and stuff." This is another one of those times, but with some good news.
I just feel pretty miserable, really. I won't go on about it, but... yeah. It's quite mind-boggling just how much the disorder affects everything you do. And it's gotten to the point where it isn't so much the subject of the obsession that's so troubling, it's the fact that you're obsessing so much that's the problem. I feel physically unwell (headaches and stomachaches), but they aren't because of the thoughts, really. It's because of the constant state of nervousness and anxiety that I seem to be in lately. I can't explain it well, I guess.
And adding to my general bad feeling is the fact that this is a rather embarassing obsession. I've been told by everyone - doctors and such - that this is one of the most common types of obsessions, but it's certainly not one you hear about very often. So I've got to get over feeling embarassed, because that's just not good.
OK! Now for the good news. Awhile back, we did get an appointment with Johns Hopkins - but it's for August 31. A long ways away when you're not doing well. So, I also have an appointment with another top-notch practice next week. :D My mom spoke to the doctor I'll be seeing, and it sounds like she's very kind and understanding. I have my fingers crossed that she'll be able to help me a little until the Johns Hopkins visit. So these are good developments.
My psychiatrist is still being squirrely. She's just... we've overlooked a lot of stuff in our years with her as my psych. We haven't always been happy with what she's suggested or prescribed or said, but she's pretty good, so what can ya do? We have such a history with her that it's going to be hard to start over with a new psych. But she's pretty burned out. She's so busy and rushed, and has said some very unhelpful things to me (not on purpose, but you know). It's gotten to the point where I don't think I'd be able to trust and take to heart what she tells me. Obviously, not a good thing. So hopefully my upcoming appointments will offer a little relief and hope for the future. :)
I just feel pretty miserable, really. I won't go on about it, but... yeah. It's quite mind-boggling just how much the disorder affects everything you do. And it's gotten to the point where it isn't so much the subject of the obsession that's so troubling, it's the fact that you're obsessing so much that's the problem. I feel physically unwell (headaches and stomachaches), but they aren't because of the thoughts, really. It's because of the constant state of nervousness and anxiety that I seem to be in lately. I can't explain it well, I guess.
And adding to my general bad feeling is the fact that this is a rather embarassing obsession. I've been told by everyone - doctors and such - that this is one of the most common types of obsessions, but it's certainly not one you hear about very often. So I've got to get over feeling embarassed, because that's just not good.
OK! Now for the good news. Awhile back, we did get an appointment with Johns Hopkins - but it's for August 31. A long ways away when you're not doing well. So, I also have an appointment with another top-notch practice next week. :D My mom spoke to the doctor I'll be seeing, and it sounds like she's very kind and understanding. I have my fingers crossed that she'll be able to help me a little until the Johns Hopkins visit. So these are good developments.
My psychiatrist is still being squirrely. She's just... we've overlooked a lot of stuff in our years with her as my psych. We haven't always been happy with what she's suggested or prescribed or said, but she's pretty good, so what can ya do? We have such a history with her that it's going to be hard to start over with a new psych. But she's pretty burned out. She's so busy and rushed, and has said some very unhelpful things to me (not on purpose, but you know). It's gotten to the point where I don't think I'd be able to trust and take to heart what she tells me. Obviously, not a good thing. So hopefully my upcoming appointments will offer a little relief and hope for the future. :)
I've been making a bunch of caps from Spearhead from Space to make icons with - I feel the need to icon the Pertwee and Pertwee era. :) But I also feel the need to icon the Troughton era, too, so I shall be making caps from Tomb of the Cybermen later. Then, I think I'll make some Blackadder II icons, because I need to show that show some love. Anyone have any requests? :)
You know what? I do believe it's time for a change of layout. Over to you guys! :D
Poll #785585 The Layout Poll!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
What should be the theme of my next layout?
View Answers
Pertwee era
2 (20.0%)
Troughton era 3 (30.0%)
Artsy (just a simple sort of design, with no people or whatever) 1 (10.0%)
George Harrison (cos he's the best Beatle, pbfft! :D ) 4 (40.0%)
Why the random inclusion of George Harrison in the poll? I've been listening to a bit o' Beatles stuff recently, and as everyone already knows, they pwn. It just took me a little while to really catch on - I mean, I've loved the Beatles since I was a little thing, but mainly because my parents love 'em. I was raised (along with Muppets) on A Hard Day's Night and Help!, and Help! is still one of my all-time favorite movies (as is AHDN, but I just adore Help!). I guess I was a pretty shallow kid, because I counted myself as a Beatles fan because I thought they were cute! I did listen to their music a bit, but I was really little when I went through my Beatles phase (old enough, I suppose, to think George was the shiz), so I can barely remember what I listened to.
But the Beatles have always been a part of my life in whatever way, and I've finally started actually listening to them seriously. I won't go on about how amazing they are - as I said, I'm sure you know this! - but I will just say that... wow. Just... wow. They're damn good. (I did know this, but I'd never really realized it till now!)
Oh yeah. Why was George Harrison included? He was one of my first ever crushes and deserves a bit o' layout love. :)
Take care everybody! Cheery bye, Scarlett
ETA - If you're a Snakes on a Plane junkie, you have to check this site out. You can get a "personalized" message from Samuel L. Jackson himself! It was one of the great thrills of my life to hear him say my name. :D
Current Mood: 
hungry
hungryCurrent Music: I'm A Loser (The Beatles)
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